the end.

fuckdamn:

hozey-nevergoingtochurch:

maplebungus:

heartshapedbasil:

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

bilover:

if i bring a book someplace it doesn’t necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

sewerfight:

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced “ngl this bitch kind of sucks” The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like “I’m sorry, I wasn’t talking about you.” And the girl looked up and said “No don’t worry, I didn’t think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe” We both took a peak over the counter. she’d stepped on a red m&m

feral-ballad:

Pedro Salinas, tr. by Ruth Katz Crispin, from Memory in My Hands: The Love Poetry of Pedro Salinas; “The voice I owe to you”

metamorphesque:

  ― Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of My Brief Body

[text ID: To love someone is firstly to confess: I’m prepared to be devastated by you.]

imanothingslag:

the hardest thing a girl should go through is picking a new profile picture

melanocetuss:

inspired by “La lepre” by Lucio Corsi

wizardshark:

Imagine being the first animal to get eaten by another animal in the cambrian era you would be like oh hey dude haha what’s up oh shit oh geez